The Green Eyed Monster

Article #4: The Green-Eyed Monster by Virginia Vetrano

Jealousy means an intolerance of rivalry or “unfaithfulness,” and an apprehensiveness of the loss of another’s exclusive devotion. It implies hostility toward a rival or one that is believed to enjoy an advantage. It implies vigilance in guarding a possession, person or thing so that no one else can have it or enjoy it. Jealousy and envy can lead to evil actions. They become pathological when excessive and when the possessor and the object of the envy or jealousy are hurt. Not only does jealousy hurt others; it also hurts the one who is jealous because it impairs all the functions of the body. Jealousy consumes nerve energy at a rapid rate and hardens the features as few things will. Strong jealousy is a type of insanity, a combination of inferiority and selfishness. Jealousy is not merely the fear of losing the “beloved” one, for often there is no real love for the object of jealousy; it springs largely, often wholly, from wounded vanity. Wounded self-esteem, rather than undying love, characterizes the psychology of the deserted lover. This is forcibly illustrated by the well-known fact that the agony produced by a death, terrible as the shock may prove, generally more easily and in shorter time, and less often occasions suicide, than the pain and chagrin of a lover’s “infidelity.”

In cottages and luxurious palaces green-eyed jealousy takes all the joy out of domestic life, and plants thorns of strife. Jealousy is a vice, not a virtue. It poisons the well-spring of life. It kills love and respect and transforms human relationships into a hell.

There is every reason why we should learn to maintain emotional poise. There is every reason why we should void being, a green-eyed monster as long as we shall live, for you desire health, that spark of vitality and beauty, you will shun jealousy just as if it were a plague. It destroys everything.

Be ready to admit when someone can do something better than you. You are as good as your time and energy permits. There is no reason to be jealous or envious of others. Jealousy and envy have their beginnings in childhood. Children should be taught to be happy with what they already have and not dwell on what they don’t have. (In fact, we adults might do well to learn this lesson too). If you thrill with someone when they get something new, and enjoy it with them, you will share their blessings instead of sitting there envying them and being miserable. Early in life we must train our children not to be envious of the possessions of others. Our school system teaches competition: only one can win. Each child should be praised for his efforts and encouraged to develop his individual gifts, and not made to fit into a ready-made mold.

If you are lazy and can’t discipline yourself to do anything, then admit it, and just be you. You may be happiest just doing little things, or just doing nothing all day long. This is just fine. This is what you desire out of life. Admit it and then enjoy the accomplishments of others. If you want to discipline yourself, you will. Often jealousy stems from a pathological fear of losing one’s power.

If you harbor a green-eyed monster deep within yourself, then for your own sake turn it into an angel of love.